My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
