A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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