I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
love makes seman taste better
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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