Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
