i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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