i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
