Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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