Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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