Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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