Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
soo... how was my night?
Congratulations! We have a period
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