we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
