She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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