Just cropdusted the office
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
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Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
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You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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