you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
