FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
