How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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