Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize