Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
