Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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