He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
