# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
