so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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