Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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