:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
