I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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