Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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