I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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