Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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