So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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