i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
