shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
