A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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