A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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