I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
