I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
