You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize