Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
