Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
