Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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