i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
