Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize