So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
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If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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