the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
