You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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