So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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