Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize