I just made out with a guy for $7.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize