she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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