I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize