I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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