What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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