WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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