you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
