when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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