I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
