So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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