Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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