he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
