I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize